(I Also Write Children's Books!)

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Pre-Order UUUUUP!!!

It's that time!  And thank goodness.  My sales are pathetic.  A year with nothing published will do that to you.

Here is the Amazon link to pre-order Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen!  I think I'll wait until the official cover is up to put it on my sidebar.

You folks love to speculate, so to feed your curious little minds, here's the cover blurb:

What would middle school be like if half your classmates had super powers? It's time for Penny Akk to find out. Her latest (failed) attempt to become a superhero has inspired the rest of the kids in her school to reveal their own powers.

Now, all of her relationships are changing. She has a not-at-all-secret admirer, who wants to be Penny's partner almost as much as she wants to be Penny's rival. The meanest girl in school has gained super powers and lost her mind. Can Penny help her find a better one? Can she help an aging supervillain connect with his daughter, and mend the broken hearts of two of the most powerful people in the world? And in all this, where will she find time for her own supervillainous fun, or even more dangerous, to start dating?

It's going to be a long, strange semester.

41 comments:

  1. First things first, I got the first comment! Also I am super excited for this book, I've been so excited for this book that I've reread the first two 12 times just to make sure I'm caught up and didn't miss a single detail!! Can't wait!

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  2. OK my theories;
    "She has a not-at-all-secret admirer, who wants to be Penny's partner almost as much as she wants to be Penny's rival." -- this is obviously Cassie.
    "The meanest girl in school has gained super powers and lost her mind. Can Penny help her find a better one?" -- Marice, but not sure if the Find a better one is referencing her mind or power.
    "Can she help an aging supervillain connect with his daughter" -- We already know this one.
    "and mend the broken hearts of two of the most powerful people in the world?" -- i think this is actually Lucyfar and Gaberial

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    1. My first impressions match those, except the last. I thought the "broken hearts" might be Claudia's parents. It's not a perfect fit, since we don't know anything about her mother, and yes, there's unexplored backstory with Lucyfar and Gabriel.

      I'm wondering if Marcia's transformation is due to the zap she gets from Cassie in chapter 1.

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    2. I think it was written to give the impression that both statements were together, but I don't think it fits. Bull already said he and Claudia's mom still loved each other. It referring to Lucy and Gabe is a wild guess, being that they are the only powerful sorta couple we've been introduced. So it could be a completely new relationship we've not seen yet.

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    3. Wait, when was it said that bull was Claudia's mom?

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    4. You think he's being deliberately ambiguous there? Yeah, that's possible.

      Then again, while it sounds like Claudia's parents still love each other, they separated for what was meant to be Claudia's benefit, and arguably it wasn't. Sounds like a perfect recipe for "broken hearts", with a pretty clear course of action for "mending" them, and lots of opportunities for things to go pear-shaped.

      Do any other established characters have a potential connection, besides Gabriel and Lucyfar? The best I could come up with was that Mech had an old corset belonging to Claire's mother. That's even less likely.

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    5. @Ardash - 1) I think you mean dad. Bull can't be claudia's mom (well he can but its unlikely)

      2) It hasn't been revealed in story proper. Roberts let slip Bull's last name in the blog, and Claudia's full name was revealed in the sneak previews he posted. We put 2 and 3 together.

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    6. @pfog, I think if Marcia is the one to get powers, then it's more likely to be the alien energy source that could conduct and energize a rubber shoe. The one that she had during the science fair?

      Remember from what we can tell only a few months have passed since then in universe (at most).

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    7. In the teaser first draft of chapter 1, Marcia seemed to have no powers and her normal personality. As of chapter 2 she was absent from class and her friend looked worried. She had been thwacked by Sharky and zapped by Cassie, which would be enough to put any normal person in the hospital, so there was no reason to read anything into that. On the other hand, getting zapped by mad science is a fairly traditional road to superpowers, so if she's the one getting them, then the fight's a possible source.

      In any case, we have no clue what her powers will be. Lightning gave the Flash superspeed, but we're apparently already getting a speedster as a regular character.

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    8. Marcia seems to a self important asshat. So I was actually thinking she might actually do something to her self to get powers. After being "humiliated" in front off the school. And her repeated defeats to TIM. She might go to extremes, maybe using something The Original took as a trophy.
      You both have good and valid points. But think about combining them. The Orb thing left some traces of power, but it was the zap from Cassie that was the catalyst. Takes a few days for the changes to set in and bamm.

      Or an even crazier idea, she ended up at the hospital after the Zap and some Insane Doctor took the opportunity to experiment.

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    9. Actually southard thats more or less my thought. I could just see Marcia irradiating herself or using some alien tech on herself to give herself powers.

      I have a better theory. Rather than speed Cassie gets space or time warping abilities. Teleportation?? Something that would allow her to combat Penny's bracelets would be the main point.
      Although roberts being roberts she will have a completely inane power like forcefields or invisibility.

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    10. Okay, yes, that's good: after a humiliating defeat, recovering from deeply resented injuries, swearing vengence, she uses her connection to the Original to sneaks a bit of technology or dragon's blood or whatever and gives herself superpowers.

      In a regular comic book that would not end well. That's the recipe for a villain. In fact, that could be the recipe for the out-of-control, scenery-chewing-monster sort of villain, which I suppose would be consistent with "lost her mind".

      I guess I've been hoping for some kind of redemption story for her. In middle school kids' personalities are still pretty flexible.

      The power she gets could still go anywhere. If it stays on-theme with her cheerleading it could get really silly.

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    11. Given her behavior in the first book, she was already over the line to villain.

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    12. why did I write cassie in my last post... Note to self don't post tired - I meant marcia of course.
      Cassie already has awsome powers.

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    13. I don't think Marcia is going to go all villain. I would think she is more likely to go vigilante all Punisher like. Crossing the lines and maybe even getting a little personal.

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    14. It would be deeply ironic if Marcia's power was to become invisible. Isn't being the center of attention her thing?

      "Hey everyone, look at me! I'm invisible!"

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    15. Yeah but she just got showed up big time, as near as we can tell the Original is a green arrow type character - all hide in the shadows and stuff so it would suite her skill set to play "Now you see me, now you don't" with her pray.

      Regardless, out of the kids we met so far I think Marcia is the most likely to go off the deep end. Whatever she does or gets it will involve finding out the other kids secrets and then acting petty because of them. Least that's my opinion.

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    16. I just realized: we've never seen the Original, but based purely on the name I've been picturing him with a 1940s Eisner-esque look, with a wide-brimmed hat, domino mask and a suit, maybe some concealed tricks and devices, maybe a handgun (a cross between the Spirit and the Phantom when he's "Mr. Walker").

      This despite the fact that his daughter/sidekick wears a sparkly pink leotard and wields a cheerleader's baton. I'm thinking my picture isn't going to turn out to be right on the money.

      Still, it's hard to imagine a girl who favors "sparkly pink" would find "hide in the shadows" appealing. That sort of aesthetic would also conflict with a Punisher skull-theme, but I suppose it could be adapted.

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    17. yeah the reason I thought the Original fit the green arrow motife (other than these being on tv since before book one) is that the original Canery was all day glow pink, an extendable staff, and martial arts. Thats kinda what I figured Miss A to be inspired from.

      (saying that her described costume also reminds me of the girl from KickAss)

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    18. I've always pictured the Original as a cross between Batman and Superman.
      The costume style and Charisma of Superman. I do believe it was mentioned before about him being the wholesome, goody goody type.
      But with the fighting style of Batman. Extensive training in all forms of combat, and lots of gadgets.
      I just picture someone who plays to the cameras a lot. Defeats the giant man eating octopus rampaging through downtown, turns to a group of kids and say "Remember Kids stay in school and don't do drugs." Smiles and there is a lens flare off his perfectly white perfect smile.


      As for what power Marcia could/should get the possibilities are endless and the odds are even across the board. But I wouldn't be surprised if it was the Superman type powers.

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    19. J, that is an almost perfect description of the Original as a superhero. I've been trying to stay out of these threads, since I've already spoiled too much, but I had to chime in now because that guess was so completely correct.

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    20. The truth is I can actually read minds

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    21. Crud.
      I was not picturing that at all, especially with how much of a pain Marcia is to others. Not a goody goody type at all... especially after what Penny's Mom almost said about him.

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    22. I said that's what he's like as a superhero. I didn't say that's what he's like as a person.

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    23. Lucyfar is great company, but a little less likable when she decides it's your neighborhood that's too uptight and modest and sends in a horde of skeletal werewolves to smash up the place and eat everyone's clothes.

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    24. Oddly I'd much rather be friends with Lucy than the Original. It would be way more fun and way cooler. I'd love to see what kinda nightclubs she attends and or what a party looks like at her house!

      I still wanna see her and Penny's crew hanging out casually. I mean c'mon what's the point in being villains if you don't get to hand out while the world burns.

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    25. In this version of L.A. I'm guessing "comprehensive" insurance coverage is a must.

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    26. Yes don't forget that the Original is most likely the person who gave Marcia the alien tech to win the science fair. If that's not poor role modeling I don't know what is.

      Superman is a very decent person. In and out of the cape. (at least in most versions of him) but he he avoids most press and spectacles.

      Batman not a so wholesome, but he is all about justice. He avoids all publicity.

      Now Buster Gold. Comes back from the future with advanced tech and future files. Uses that knowledge to stop crimes and save people, all the make himself super famous. He's not normaly considered a bad person. Just an egotistical jack off. He does a good job of saving people but he does it for all the wrong reasons.

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    27. Ah, Booster Gold is all about the image. Very commercial, but actually a bit of a buffoon.
      It does sound like the Original is the dark side of the same coin.

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    28. Lucyfar sending a horde of Skeletons?
      Well, as long as they don't eat bystanders, could be interesting... I could point her toward a few of the gang-bang wanabees and the really irritating dogs, and sit back and cheer.

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    29. Dancing Skeletons? Reminds me of Erma :: http://brandontheoutcast.tumblr.com/post/135908706641/erma-silent-night

      or possibly more like this page :: http://brandontheoutcast.tumblr.com/post/132223832383/erma-graveyard-smash

      ^ Really cute comic btw. Erma is the daughter of the ghost girl in "The Ring" and she's totally adorable.

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  3. Reconnect? BooYa, I can't wait. Already pre-ordered.

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  4. And, I am recommending it to 6 people, that should help your sales MR. Roberts.

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  5. Ebook pre-order, yes. Will paper copies be available in February, later, or not at all?

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    1. My publisher expects paper and hardbacks to be available at the same time the kindle goes live, although that is not guaranteed. They think it's likely but still up in the air that they'll be able to put paperbacks up for pre-order before the actual release.

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  6. Pre-ordered! :) (And I'd pre-order the one after if it was available; love this series, thanks!)

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  7. Preordered. Can you see from Amazon what sort of numbers you're getting on preorders?

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  8. Pre-ordered and looking forward to it!

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  9. Will this be available on audio book?

    I loved listening to the first one driving to and from work. I had to read the second, and loved it, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I would have listening to it.

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