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Monday, February 17, 2014

A Fictional Travelogue

Hylotl Exploration Log:  Pretty Bubbles
Date:  Meaningless, out here
Planet: X Theta Her Majoris VII a

Having worn out my nonexistent welcome with the apes, I decided it was time to take my beautiful alien art pieces and find a new star system to explore.  I had enough time to take one detour first.  Why not take a look at the nearby ice moon?

Oh, my.

 Humans must have an obsession with their reproductive anatomy.  This place is huge.  The original caretakers are gone, and the unfortunates left behind are so irritable one of them tried to hit me with a chair.  I employed the Hylotl Way of Peace, and built each one a Shame Box so that I wouldn't have to hurt them.  This guy will need a lot of time in his box.

A hand print scanner!  Would I have to drill my way- oh, wait, it was broken.  All the doors were open already.

Human architects understand the need for open spaces so that even criminals may enjoy nature.  Look at all those lamps.  This courtyard is much better lit than the insides of the buildings themselves.

Oh, humans.  Among all the non-Hylotl races of the galaxy, you are the closest to civilized.  You alone have discovered Shame Box technology.

If only anything else you did made sense.

And yet, here and there, hints of true wisdom.  At the exact center of the colony I found a giant room dedicated to pouring water on each other.  The shrine maiden offered to introduce me to a human custom called 'shanking'.  Perhaps someday, human, when you understand Peace and Beauty and emerge from your Shame Box, we may shank each other as friends.

The giant building behind the water temple was full of humans who had escaped their Shame Boxes.  Look at them all!  I admire the way you struggle towards enlightenment, humanity, but you rely too much on metal bars and computer locks.  My tiny wooden boxes will give these poor souls time to reflect.

Sometimes I think you're trying TOO hard.  What do these even do?  I don't want to know!

We can all use time out to reflect, draw wisdom, and see the world from another's viewpoint.  I sat here for a long, long time, but no one came to talk to me.

Wait.  That's the exit on the far side of the colony.  This horrible grey room is a welcoming center and rest lounge!  So close to civilization, humans, but so very, very far.  Ugh!

I never leave without a souvenir.  Sometimes a lot of souvenirs.  Look what the humans gave me!  Maybe it's used for shanking?  The local wildlife was not impressed, I can tell you that.

My visit with the human reproductive colony is over.  I'm getting out of this star system before the apes find enough spare parts to fix their spaceship.

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