(I Also Write Children's Books!)

Monday, October 28, 2013

Nice Road You Got Here

Chapter two is done, and chapter three is already plotted out!  Sandy's visit to Somewhere got off to a rocky start in chapter one, but she has a much better time in chapter two taking advantage of Here's transit system and meeting stone giants, fake sheep, and of course the Greater House Cuckoo.

Chapter two of A Sidekick's Tale, in .pdf format!

Monday, October 14, 2013

The First Of A New Book!

Okay, so, I've mentioned this.  The horror novel left me down.  My book about candy, transformation, and passion is good, but completely not right for my mood now.  I've been throwing around an idea for a new book, a classic 'Girl gets lost in a magic land' story in the Oz tradition - but told from the perspective of her sidekick.  I've been getting pretty close to ready to write it, so I wrote the first chapter to give me a feel for the book that I could use to finish the outline.

...well, I loved writing it.  I really, REALLY loved writing it.  I feel so good right now.  Just thinking about writing A Sidekick's Tale makes me happy.  Also, it will be suitable for a much wider audience.  So, have the first chapter!

A Sidekick's Tale, Chapter One in .pdf format

The Last Of The Old

...for awhile, anyway!  Probably.  I am unlikely to continue the currently-titled Lemon and Chocolate: An Alien Romance any time soon.  I will almost certainly make it my NEXT book.  Reasons will be made available momentarily.  For now, I did finish Chapter Five, so you can enjoy that if you're one of those people who enjoy things.  (For reference, Chapter Two was so big that I broke it up into Two, Three, and Four.  That's why this one is Five.)

Chapter Five in .pdf format

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Random Book Review - The Golden Compass

So, I got into a discussion with someone about The Golden Compass.  I think it was Ellie on Twitter.  In the process, I realized I only read it once, and it's been years, and all I remember is the truly messed up ending.  I figured I'd better reread it.  It's a classic and a controversy, and it's good to read those for yourself.

Here is my review:  Forget controversy.  It's just not very well written.  Here is an actual line of dialog from the main character:

'Oh, Pan, dear, I can't go on!  I'm so frightened - and so tired - all this way, and I'm scared to death!  I wish it was someone else instead of me, I do honestly!'

That may be the hokiest, least convincing, least realistic and most forced piece of dialog in any major novel.  It has the emotional impact of soft cheese.  In general, all the dialog sounds like a middle school drama play.  All of the characters have this same stilted vocal pattern.  On the very first page, I was pleased by the realism of a tween girl hiding in a closet to spy on important people because she hadn't through through the consequences, but then she discusses every detail of the moral decision involved with her pet, as if she were an adult.

Overall, characterization is very hit-or-miss.  The narrator tells us at one point that Lyra for the first time evaluates herself, her own appearance and actions - and yet a couple of scenes back, she's evaluating which different disguises she can pull off, based on her age and social group.

Oh, yeah, social group.  When the children are held captive, the narrator comments that girls only hang out with girls, and boys only hang out with boys, and that's how they like it at that age.  This is completely contradicted by Lyra's street urchin antics at the beginning of the book.  All these kids come from similar backgrounds, which are depicted clearly as having boys and girls playing together.  There's a lot of convenient plot twists, too.  In an exposition heavy book, Lyra's father has the ability to wish for things and they show up, which isn't explained.  It's just something he can do, apparently because he's a Great Man.  The snow bridge which forced Lyra to leave behind her polar bear protector for the final confrontation got an especially mortified facepalm.  The book is full of this stuff.

I'm hoping the author learned something writing the first book, and the next two will be better.  The basic story is actually pretty neat.  I can kinda see the source of religious outrage as well.  The moral of the book is not that god is evil.  That's just a plot choice.  The moral the book pushes is that the things we repress as 'sin' are good things that help us survive and be happy.  That could be taken as pretty anti-religious.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

'Cadbury Porn meets the Terminator Bunny'

That was the description given to chapter one of Metal, Candy, Flesh (I do need a better title) by my local writer's group.  It felt good that they liked the weirdness.  The horror novel thing fell through in the most painful way possible, and it's taken me a couple of weeks to get back on my feet.

Now that I'm here, the good news is that Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm A Supervillain is finished editing, and I've been asked for ideas about cover art!  The reorganization seems to have worked.  Curiosity Quills is much more efficient now.  That's good news for me - I can't wait to see that book officially released.  You will all love it, trust me.  It's my lightest, friendliest book, but it's a whole lot of fun.

 Metal, Candy, Flesh on the other extremity is weird.  With any luck, you'll love it as well.  I think it's time to find out!

Here's chapter one in PDF format

And here's chapter two in PDF format

Oh, and despite the description, there is no sex in either of these chapters, and I'm not planning on anything explicit in the finished book.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Anatidaephobia - The Goosening

In the continuing story of how ducks are following me, I was driving through a parking lot near my home yesterday.  On one of the curbs, a small flock of geese were feeding in the grass.  As I drive by, these geese who have been ignoring everything else in this busy parking lot all straighten up and stare at me until they were out of my sight.

I wish I could have gotten a photo, but I was driving through a busy parking lot.  It wasn't possible.

Waterfowl, man.  I don't know.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

San Diego Comic Con Photo Blog - Sunday

SO SICK.  The best laid plans of mice and men gae aft aglae when Con Crud strikes.  At last, I give you the final day of my photos!

This will be a bit different.  You see, by Sunday we were tired.  Tired beyond tired, physically and emotionally.  We had to check out of our hotel at noon, but our planes didn't leave until the evening.  We'd kinda planned ahead on this.  The hotel was right beside Balboa Park, where San Diego puts all its touristy stuff.  We took a walk down there!

We zeroed in immediately on the San Diego Zoo... and discovered it was 45$ each for a ticket.  Frankly, we decided that money could be better spent elsewhere.  We immediately lucked out.  Circling the zoo, we found an old fashioned carousel.  It was beautiful, and the ride was several minutes long.  Well worth a couple of bucks.  Here we stand waiting for our turn.






And here's a photo inside as the carousel turns!  It was so charming.  We were riding the ostriches.  You can juuuuust barely see a peek of Dana's next to me.  Many off color jokes were made about the roosters ahead of us.





This is a crow.  I like crows.






Oh, no!  BEES!  The zoo is very considerate of them, it seems.


And now life gang even more aglae.  I took a lot of photos that are just gone.  I don't know what happened to them.  Right after the carousel, we saw a pony being exercised.  I don't have those photos, I don't have the photos of the restaurant.  I've forgotten how many photos were lost.  I didn't take as many as the previous days, but it's still disappointing.

But here's what I have!  After the carousel, we found this adorable little artist's village!






The store that interested us the most was about gemstone crafts, geology, all that kind of thing.  One of the lost photos was of their adorable periodicals, but here's the jewelry rack.  Warning:  The photos from the rock store were kept at very large size, because I felt detail would be important.





And a big shelf full of the rocks in their raw form!  I thought this was the kind of things my friends would like.  Missing are photos of the next shelf, with the big black rock I made jokes about being my heart.





Really, really running out of photos here.  I don't have any of when we stopped to eat.  The big thing we did that day was go to the natural history museum.  We saw a fantastic little movie about dinosaurs - fantastic because the dinosaurs had proper feathers.  I grew up in a pre-dinosaurs-have-feathers world, and seeing them feathered delights me.  Too few dinosaur renditions have caught up with that.  But, no photos of the vulture-lookin' velociraptors or the hysterically goofy oviraptor.  All disappeared into the ether.  All I have is this, a downright creepy photo of a duckbill that's half face, half skull!  There was a whole line of heads like this.


Which leaves me with one more photo.  This one wasn't taken at SDCC at all, but at my brief visit to FandomFest.  I am going to try to convince my publisher to set us up a booth there next year.  It's a perfect convention for that.  But there was only one thing I really wanted to photograph at FandomFest.  Adventure Time costumes are everywhere, but they're mostly Fiona and Marceline.  My friends all ask me - were there any Lady Rainocorn cosplayers?

Here you go.